‘None shall provoke/injure me with impunity’.  This is Scotland’s national motto.  For a group of people who keep getting invaded it makes a reasonable amount of sense; step off, or I’ll cut you.  That means you, England.  Japanese samurai regularly practiced katakiuchi, revenge killings, to uphold their family honor, and contrary to popular belief, the phrase ‘revenge is a dish best served cold’ is Pashtun in origin, only later taken up by the British and, eventually, Klingons.

I’ve never been one for revenge;  it’s seemed a waste of energy.  Edmond Dantes, Captain Ahab, and Fox Mulder were all so focused on retribution that none of them were able to recognize they had achieved their goals, and in the end either wound up dead or wandering the wilderness alone.  In the words of Charlotte Bronte, “Something of vengeance I had tasted for the first time; as aromatic wine it seemed, on swallowing, warm and racy: its after-flavor, metallic and corroding, gave me a sensation as if I had been poisoned.”

But you know what?  Jane Eyre is a stupid book, and Charlotte never had to deal with scorpions.  In the words of my gal Mary Queen of Scots, “No more tears now; I will think about revenge.”

This fellow had the audacity to walk into my living room while I was peacefully sipping tea and reading Vanity Fair.  Let his decimated, salted corpse bear witness to his brethren; it’s on.

Fun fact: when you type ‘revenge’ into google one of the suggested related searches is ‘blair waldorf’.